Tough Love

Children Are a Gift from God

What Does the Bible Say About Children?

Children are described as a gift from God in Psalms 127:3-5. Solomon writes, "Don't you see that children are God's best gift, the fruit of the womb, his generous legacy." This passage emphasizes the blessing and responsibility that comes with raising children. Even if you don't have children, this message can help you be a better mentor, coach, or leader.

The Phases of Parenting

Newborn to Three Years Old: The Provider Phase

In the early years, parents are the primary providers. This phase involves changing diapers, feeding, and clothing the child. It's a time filled with joy as you witness their first smiles and steps. However, be prepared for the "terrible twos," a period that may require some tough love.

Four to Ten Years Old: The Instructor Phase

During this stage, parents become instructors. You're responsible for preparing your child for school, teaching them basic skills like tying their shoes, and helping with homework. At this age, children still look up to you and may even see you as a superhero.

Eleven to Eighteen Years Old: The Hired Help Phase

As children enter their teenage years, parents often feel like hired help. Teens become more independent and may start to test boundaries. This is a critical time for tough love and discipline.

Eighteen Years and Older: The Consultant Phase

Parenting doesn't stop at 18. Whether your child goes to college or starts working, they will still need your guidance. They may check in with you for advice or support, especially during challenging times.

The Role of Tough Love

Biblical Guidance on Discipline

Proverbs 13:24 states, "Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them." Discipline is essential for raising well-rounded individuals. Proverbs 23:13-14 and Proverbs 29:17 also emphasize the importance of discipline in parenting.

Creative Punishments

In today's world, spanking may not be the preferred method of discipline. Creative punishments like taking away cell phones or removing bedroom doors can be effective. The goal is to teach children responsibility and the consequences of their actions.

Being Your Child's Historian and Prophet

Knowing Your Child's History

As a parent, you are your child's historian. You remember their first smile, their first steps, and all the milestones in between. Proverbs 22:6 advises, "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."

Guiding Their Future

You are also your child's prophet. While you can't see into their future, you know their past and present, which helps you guide them. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 encourages parents to teach their children about God's commands and to talk about them regularly.

The Influence of Outside Factors

The Weeds in the Garden

Just as weeds can overtake a garden, outside influences like television, social media, and peer pressure can impact your child's growth. It's crucial to be vigilant and provide a nurturing environment that encourages positive development.

The Importance of Prayer

Praying for Your Children

Mark Batterson's book, "Praying Circles Around Your Children," emphasizes the power of prayer in parenting. You may not be a perfect parent, but you can be a praying parent. Prayer can shape the destiny of your children and provide them with a strong foundation.

Life Application

Reflect and Act

Parenting is a journey filled with challenges and rewards. This week, take time to reflect on your parenting style. Are you providing the right balance of love and discipline? Are you actively involved in your child's spiritual growth?